


I need my current location to be your current location

by playlike-agirl (playlikeagirl)



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:12:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8187319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/playlikeagirl/pseuds/playlike-agirl
Summary: Alex gets an offer from Chelsea but she hasn't told Kelley...





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by current location by LANY I recommend you listen to it whilst you read this because honestly it's such a beautiful song :)

_How'd you fail to mention that you might be moving in four months to London?_

"Hey baby, I'm home," Alex calls out as she drops the grocery bags down on the kitchen counter. "Kell, can you help me with the bags?" Alex calls out again, glancing up to see her girlfriend crumpled up on the couch, staring blankly at her laptop screen. "Kell?" No response. "Kelley? Babe what's wrong?" Alex is getting worried now as she walks over to the couch, sitting down next to Kelley and placing a comforting hand on her thigh, but Kelley jolts at the contact and recoils slightly and Alex fails to hide the hurt on her face.

"Kelley will you please talk to me? What's wrong? Have I done something?" Alex is anxious now, it's so unlike the defender to be silent and she doesn't think she's ever been greeted with anything other than a kiss and a smile by Kelley. But there are no smiles for Alex now and Kelley just hands Alex the laptop. 

"You signed into your email yesterday on my laptop and forgot to sign out. You got an email."

Alex heart thumps out of her chest.  _Shit_.

"Kelley, I can exp-"

"Were you ever going to tell me Alex?" Kelley's voice cracks as she says Alex's name and the tears start to fall down her cheeks. "Or were you just going to leave, fly to London and leave me. Like everyone leaves."

_Now our days are numbered_  
_Should I try, I wonder..._  
_Wait, how far is London?_

"I was going to tell you Kelley, I was but I was just trying to think it over and I should have talked it over with you, but I didn't know how to."

_You say it's just the season_  
_Got the job, so now you're leaving_  
_Kinda hate that reason_

"Didn't know how?" Kelley croaks out. "I'm your girlfriend Alex. We live together for fuck's sake. You can tell me anything and there shouldn't be any lies or any secrets but here we are. You've basically signed a deal with Chelsea and you didn't tell me anything about it." Kelley just sighs as she sinks further into the couch, her head in her hands. "I thought we were more than that. I thought we were in love."

"I am in love with you Kelley. Oh God I'm so in love with you. But you know me, I'm not very good with this, with anything that involves real feelings and decisions. And I know I should have told you from the beginning but it was scary and I didn't know how. You're just so selfless and so full of love that I know you'd tell me to go and I was afraid of that. I was afraid of you telling me to go and me wanting you to tell me to stay. Alex sighs as she runs her hands through her hair. "And I need you to be with me Kelley. I need us to be together because I can't do life without you. I can't, I can't do any-"

"Well you're pretty good at making decisions that affect the both of us without informing me. So I'd say you can do plenty by yourself Alex."

_Don't make me look stupid for waiting just to lose ya  
Love me? Can you prove it?_

Alex drops her head, the truth of Kelley's words hitting her hard. 

"I can't lose you Alex, I can't, but I can't keep you from this either. I can't ever ask you to choose between me and soccer and I never would but sometimes I just feel like I'm competing for your love and it's tiring. I'm tired."

 _Please don't get me wrong now_  
_I want what you want_  
_But how long will you be gone?_

"I need you Kelley."

"You don't Alex. You've never needed me. You love me, I know you do because I love you too, but you're going to do this. You're going to go to Chelsea and I want you to. I want you to do what is best for you, best for your career. I know you love me with all your life but soccer will always be your first love and that's ok. But I can't follow you. I can't spend my life following you. I followed you here three years ago and I don't regret it for a second but I can't keep doing it. You're always going to be the superstar and I'm not and it's ok Alex. It's ok."

Alex is breathing heavily at Kelley's words, the tears already running down her cheeks and Kelley just wants to kiss them away but she doesn't and Alex doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how to tell Kelley she's not wrong.

"The contract only said a season baby," and Kelley looks up at her words whispering them back to her. 

"You're wrong though," Alex adds and this grabs Kelley's attention. "Well, you're half wrong. Soccer was my first love, but sometimes your first love isn't the most important. You're my biggest love, and you're going to be my last love Kelley and I don't think I could cope without you. There was a time when I didn't think I could cope without soccer but that was before I met you and now I think I could. I could. I definitely could. As long as you're with me, as long as I wake up every morning to you and see your smile, to feel your damp hair on my cheek as you come back from the beach, getting sand in our bed, I would be ok." Alex breathes deeply as the words come flowing out of her mouth, and she feels a sea of calm wash over her. It's as if she's come to a realisation, here on a windy Sunday afternoon, her girlfriend curled up in front of her, the pain and heartbreak of her face echoed in Alex's own heart. 

"I'd be ok," she repeats and Kelley looks up at her, a sense of hope, or acceptance in her eyes, Alex can't quite tell which. 

"I'm not going to London Kelley," Alex says with such finality that Kelley whips her head up.

"What? Don't be stupid Alex, I read the email what they're offering you is insane."

"So," Alex shrugs. 

_I need my current location  
To be your current location _

"They could offer me all the money in the world, they could offer me a guaranteed starting spot every single week and fans chanting my name but without you that means nothing Kelley. Maybe I didn't realise this when I was talking to them, maybe I was too caught up in the excitement of it all, of their eagerness to have me in London, but I do now. I know now. That I need you and that's all I need. I need you and me and this apartment. I don't care if we don't play soccer as much as we should in the offseason. We have next season here, we have our team here, together. Yeah I need soccer, I'm nothing really without soccer, but I need you too Kelley. I need you, God I need you so much." Alex is crying now and Kelley scrambles from under her blanket to wrap herself around Alex, sitting in her lap, quietly brushing the tears from her cheeks. 

"I need you too Alex, I need you too. I would never stop you from going, but God I'm so selfish but I don't want you to really. I don't know if I could deal with it, with everything here without you. I don't think I can sleep without you. I don't think I can do this without you," Kelley breathes in deeply.

"You could, you could do it all without me."

"Maybe," Kelley answers. "But I don't want to."

"Me neither Kell, me neither."

"You have to talk to me though Alex," Kelley chastises and Alex hangs her head. "That was worse, you know?" Alex nods. "Finding out you'd kept this from me was almost worse than the prospect of being without you. We're a team Alex, we tell each other everything. It's how it works, and the second we stop communicating is the second that things start falling apart. I know I'm not the best at communication sometimes either but we have to try." Alex nods as she pulls Kelley close to her.

"No more secrets," she whispers into Kelley's skin and Kelley nuzzles into Alex's neck.

"No more secrets. Although, to be honest, I've always wanted to play in London."

Alex half laughs and half sobs at Kelley's words.

"One day baby. One day we'll do it together."

Kelley just smiles as she pulls back and press a soft kiss to Alex's lips. 

"Together forever?" She whispers against her lips and Alex smiles. 

"Yeah baby. Forever."


End file.
